I faked an abortion last night.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
