Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
