my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
