i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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