i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
