He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
