I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
