Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I supernannyed him into submission
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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