So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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