I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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