i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
