I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize