Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
