escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
