is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize