I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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