Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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