I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
