I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
