im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
