And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
