i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I am morally bankrupt
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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