I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Congratulations! We have a period
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
