now i know why i became what i already was.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
