piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize