Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
