He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
