i think my mom watched the whole time
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
