how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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