I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
