I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
