Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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