after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ketchup is God's man juice
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
