Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
