Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
