Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
