the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
