We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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