I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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