The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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