Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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