id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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