I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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