I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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