Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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