You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
