so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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