jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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