Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
