so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I could make wine with my vomit
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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