Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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