Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
