I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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