i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
