me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
