You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
