I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
