While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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