Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
