this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
